1 00:00:11,434 --> 00:00:14,069 I'm never doing that again. 2 00:00:14,104 --> 00:00:16,071 What, Mother's Day? 3 00:00:16,105 --> 00:00:19,540 Yeah, Mother's Day. It should be outlawed. 4 00:00:19,575 --> 00:00:22,580 What? You don't mean that. The kids made you breakfast. (sighs) 5 00:00:22,615 --> 00:00:25,688 You went to your mom's house. It was good. 6 00:00:25,723 --> 00:00:28,239 I think you're confusing Mother's Day with Father's Day. 7 00:00:28,273 --> 00:00:31,593 They are nothing alike. Were you not here this morning? 8 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,153 (Sue) Axl! Get out here! Mom's food is getting cold! 9 00:00:37,187 --> 00:00:40,173 (Axl) so? She feeds us cold food. Now let me sleep! 10 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,218 (Brick) I lost my present! 11 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:45,201 (gasps) Brick, you just had it! What is wrong with you?! 12 00:00:45,235 --> 00:00:47,711 They don't really know. 13 00:00:47,746 --> 00:00:49,253 (knock on door) 14 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:54,542 (Sue and Brick, singsongy) Happy Mother's Day! 15 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:57,485 Wow! (chuckles) what a surprise. 16 00:00:57,519 --> 00:00:59,159 (gasps) thanks. 17 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,466 This looks yummy. 18 00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:02,973 God, it's too early! 19 00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:05,780 (sniffles) you woke me up in the middle of my rem. 20 00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:08,322 Very dangerous time to wake someone up. 21 00:01:08,356 --> 00:01:10,295 Could've killed me. (sniffles and groans) 22 00:01:10,329 --> 00:01:12,301 (clatters) (sue and Frankie gasp) 23 00:01:12,335 --> 00:01:16,144 She--oh! Ohh. Ohh! Axl! You're so stupid! You've ruined everything. 24 00:01:16,179 --> 00:01:19,787 Oh, yeah. It's all my fault. Blame everything on me. Classic. 25 00:01:19,821 --> 00:01:22,828 Hey! I'm not gonna put up with that crap on Mother's Day. 26 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:25,569 Do I gotta bang some heads around here? 27 00:01:25,603 --> 00:01:27,574 It's fine, Mike. Really. Everything's fine. 28 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:30,414 See? (crunches) fine. 29 00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:32,686 I made you something, mom. 30 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,659 Oh, a macaroni picture frame. 31 00:01:35,694 --> 00:01:37,730 That's great, Brick. 32 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,234 I love it. 33 00:01:39,269 --> 00:01:42,574 And a card from Sue? (laughs) you guys are spoiling me. 34 00:01:42,609 --> 00:01:46,349 It's gonna be hard going back to my regular old life. 35 00:01:48,021 --> 00:01:49,789 Oh. Yeah. Right. 36 00:01:49,824 --> 00:01:52,162 Uh... I'm going with a verbal card this year. 37 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,234 Dear mom, you're my mom. Pretty cool mom. 38 00:01:55,269 --> 00:01:57,572 Uh, chick stuff here-- feelings, whatever. 39 00:01:57,606 --> 00:01:59,041 Love, Axl. 40 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:01,746 So, mom, what do you want to do today? (giggles) (chuckles) 41 00:02:01,780 --> 00:02:03,783 (clatter) (gasps) 42 00:02:03,817 --> 00:02:06,388 My frame! Oh! (sighs) oh, it's fine. It'll be fine. 43 00:02:06,422 --> 00:02:09,227 Great. Now it looks all thrown together. I'm trying to get some sleep here! 44 00:02:09,261 --> 00:02:11,464 Have some respect for other people, people! 45 00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:13,867 All right, I'm gonna go watch "Sportscenter" 46 00:02:13,902 --> 00:02:16,639 And let you hang out with your kids. It's your day. 47 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:20,546 See, that's where Mother's Day and Father's Day are different. 48 00:02:20,580 --> 00:02:23,184 On Father's Day, it really is his day. 49 00:02:25,156 --> 00:02:27,024 (knock on door) 50 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,929 (Sue whispering indistinctly) 51 00:02:29,964 --> 00:02:32,401 (Sue and Brick, singsongy) Happy Father's Day! 52 00:02:35,407 --> 00:02:37,310 (Sue) we made all your favorites-- 53 00:02:37,345 --> 00:02:39,247 Eggs, sausage, waffles... 54 00:02:39,282 --> 00:02:42,520 And a mini-doughnut dad with bacon arms. 55 00:02:42,555 --> 00:02:44,891 Well, I'll eat him first. Thanks. This looks great. 56 00:02:44,926 --> 00:02:47,363 You kids really know how to cook. 57 00:02:47,398 --> 00:02:50,069 Yo, pops! H.F.D.! How about a game of hoops later? 58 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,639 You got it. Bring your "a" game. 59 00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:54,076 It's gonna be epic! 60 00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:56,477 (clicks tongue) I made you a remote control caddy. 61 00:02:56,512 --> 00:02:58,443 Mom got all the supplies from the store 62 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,375 And then stayed up late last night 63 00:03:00,409 --> 00:03:03,076 To put it all together. But it was your idea. 64 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:04,411 Wow. 65 00:03:04,446 --> 00:03:06,648 Okay. Let's let your father enjoy his breakfast 66 00:03:06,682 --> 00:03:09,086 And read his paper in peace. It's his day. 67 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,123 (Sue and Brick) we love you, dad. 68 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,698 My Mother's Day was right on course. 69 00:03:17,732 --> 00:03:19,968 I had choked down some runny eggs, 70 00:03:20,002 --> 00:03:22,338 Burnt waffle and old fried bologna. (clicks remote) 71 00:03:22,372 --> 00:03:24,274 (TV playing indistinctly) who would've thought 72 00:03:24,309 --> 00:03:26,210 Old Bologna would be the star of that show? 73 00:03:26,245 --> 00:03:28,280 Oh, this is torture! Turn it down! 74 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:32,752 Mom, do you like your breakfast? You haven't eaten very much. 75 00:03:32,787 --> 00:03:35,156 Yes, I did. When you weren't looking. 76 00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:37,092 And you know, grandma's coming later 77 00:03:37,126 --> 00:03:39,028 For our lunch at Neptune's grill. 78 00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:41,431 I have to save room for the peach pie. 79 00:03:41,465 --> 00:03:43,400 It's my favorite. 80 00:03:43,435 --> 00:03:46,705 Hey, Mike, can you bring me the stain remover? 81 00:03:46,739 --> 00:03:48,607 (Mike) don't know where it is. 82 00:03:48,642 --> 00:03:51,011 Yes, you do. It's under the sink. (cabinet door opens) 83 00:03:51,045 --> 00:03:53,380 I see dishwashing soap. Next to that. 84 00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:55,650 Eh, we must be out of it. 85 00:03:55,684 --> 00:03:59,221 No, no. Move stuff around. Are you moving stuff around? 86 00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:00,991 (grunts) (cabinet door closes) 87 00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:02,926 Is this it? 88 00:04:02,961 --> 00:04:05,263 That's drain cleaner. So you can't use it? 89 00:04:05,297 --> 00:04:07,165 (sighs) I'll get it later. 90 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,835 Right now I gotta shower. (exhales deeply) 91 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:11,304 Well, thank you 92 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:14,008 For the most wonderful Mother's Day breakfast. 93 00:04:14,042 --> 00:04:16,978 I think this was my best one yet. 94 00:04:17,013 --> 00:04:20,181 And when I get out, I'll open the rest of my presents. 95 00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,682 Take your time. (door closes) 96 00:04:21,717 --> 00:04:23,150 It's your day. 97 00:04:23,184 --> 00:04:25,151 Grab the coupon drawer. 98 00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:27,653 We got 20 minutes to hit the drugstore 99 00:04:27,687 --> 00:04:30,889 And get your mom something she'll treasure forever. 100 00:04:31,578 --> 00:04:33,548 I could Te by the look in his eyes, 101 00:04:33,582 --> 00:04:35,553 Mike forgot to get me a gift. 102 00:04:35,587 --> 00:04:37,857 So I decided to take an extra-long shower. 103 00:04:38,492 --> 00:04:41,327 I thought I'd give 'em time to find me something nice. Didn't we just do Valentine's day? 104 00:04:42,461 --> 00:04:43,994 This whole thing's a racket. 105 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:45,562 They trump up these phony holidays 106 00:04:45,597 --> 00:04:47,964 Just so they can sell you a bunch of crap. 107 00:04:47,998 --> 00:04:50,266 If we had any guts, we would just say no to this. 108 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,801 That'd be the best gift I could give your mom-- 109 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,835 To teach you kids some backbone. 110 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,470 (sighs) all right. Let's find that gift. 111 00:05:01,409 --> 00:05:02,876 Must get sleep. 112 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,711 Yay! Chair. 113 00:05:06,214 --> 00:05:07,647 Ohh. 114 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,149 (thud) 115 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,084 Ahh. 116 00:05:11,118 --> 00:05:13,053 (sighs) 117 00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:15,455 Hey, Mike. 118 00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:17,257 Bob. 119 00:05:17,292 --> 00:05:19,159 You forgot Mother's Day, didn't you? 120 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,494 Well, you know, they trump up these holidays, 121 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:23,395 And they expect people-- forget it. 122 00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:25,831 Mike, let me help, okay? 123 00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:28,767 (sighs) oh, these are great. You can record your own message. 124 00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:31,336 You could do accents, anything you want. 125 00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:32,704 (British accent) 'Ello, 'ello. 126 00:05:32,738 --> 00:05:34,971 Happy Mum's Day, Frankie. (laughs) 127 00:05:35,006 --> 00:05:37,739 Yeah, okay. I'm in kind of a hurry here. 128 00:05:37,774 --> 00:05:40,042 (Brick) hey, dad? Would mom like something called "condoms"? 129 00:05:40,076 --> 00:05:41,476 Does she like pleasure? 130 00:05:41,511 --> 00:05:44,679 No! Get out of that aisle! 131 00:05:44,714 --> 00:05:47,615 Dad, look. We have to get this for mom. 132 00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:51,684 "think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it." 133 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,618 That is so powerful. I know. 134 00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,753 No. We got plenty of fridge magnets at home 135 00:05:57,788 --> 00:06:01,389 From the sewer rooter people, the pizza delivery guy. 136 00:06:01,424 --> 00:06:04,892 Hey, this is that stain remover mom was talking about earlier. 137 00:06:04,926 --> 00:06:06,759 We know she wants it. 138 00:06:06,794 --> 00:06:08,227 (clicks tongue) 139 00:06:08,262 --> 00:06:10,963 Okay, I know you said you wouldn't get it for mom, 140 00:06:10,998 --> 00:06:12,765 But what if you got it for me? 141 00:06:12,799 --> 00:06:14,399 No. 142 00:06:14,434 --> 00:06:17,802 But, dad... Please. I just love it so much. 143 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:21,038 Sue, I'm not spending $5 on a magnet we don't need. 144 00:06:21,072 --> 00:06:24,241 We got a gift for mom. (sighs) what is with you kids? 145 00:06:24,275 --> 00:06:26,142 Stop goofing around and get serious. 146 00:06:26,176 --> 00:06:28,976 Your mom works hard, and she deserves a nice gift 147 00:06:29,011 --> 00:06:31,112 That shows her how much we care about her. 148 00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:35,282 We thought of wrapping it, but then... Didn't. 149 00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:36,683 Who needs wrapping? 150 00:06:36,717 --> 00:06:38,985 Just takes longer to get to the present. 151 00:06:41,823 --> 00:06:44,292 An inflatable foot bath. 152 00:06:44,326 --> 00:06:46,828 Wow. 153 00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:49,597 Wow. You're always saying your feet hurt, 154 00:06:49,632 --> 00:06:51,699 'cause you're on 'em all day, and it's inflatable, 155 00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:53,634 So you can take it with you when you travel. 156 00:06:53,668 --> 00:06:55,402 It's got sloughing bumps to remove dead skin. 157 00:06:55,436 --> 00:06:58,171 (whispers) sloughing bumps. 158 00:06:59,907 --> 00:07:02,975 And this is what Mike got for Father's Day last year... 159 00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:04,710 Oh, my God. 160 00:07:04,711 --> 00:07:06,078 No way! 161 00:07:06,112 --> 00:07:07,512 Is this... 162 00:07:07,547 --> 00:07:09,847 Yep! A certified piece of I.U. Hoosier gym. 163 00:07:09,881 --> 00:07:11,749 Remember we read in the paper 164 00:07:11,783 --> 00:07:14,050 That they were replacing the floor in assembly hall? 165 00:07:14,084 --> 00:07:16,452 Well, I called the campus 166 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,287 To see if we could buy a piece of the old floor, 167 00:07:19,322 --> 00:07:21,689 And they gave me, like, a zillion numbers, 168 00:07:21,723 --> 00:07:24,024 But I eventually tracked down the right guy, 169 00:07:24,058 --> 00:07:26,859 And he told me he would sell me a piece, 170 00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:29,260 But I had to come get it that morning, 171 00:07:29,295 --> 00:07:31,662 So I drove in this snowstorm to Bloomington, 172 00:07:31,696 --> 00:07:34,063 And, I swear, I had, like, almost two crashes, 173 00:07:34,097 --> 00:07:36,899 But it was so worth it just to see this look on your face. 174 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,569 Wow. I can't believe you thought of this. 175 00:07:39,603 --> 00:07:43,204 Wow. (chuckles) I can't believe you thought of this. 176 00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:45,941 All right. I'm gonna leave you alone. It's your day. 177 00:07:45,975 --> 00:07:47,876 Okay. 178 00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:50,678 I'm gonna just relax and read my "people" magazine. 179 00:07:50,712 --> 00:07:53,013 Also, while we were at the drugstore, 180 00:07:53,047 --> 00:07:56,382 I got some glue, so now I can fix your picture frame. 181 00:07:56,416 --> 00:08:00,184 Brick, what kind of pasta do you want 182 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,652 At the top of my frame-- elbow or farfalle? 183 00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:04,053 Whatever you want. 184 00:08:04,087 --> 00:08:05,687 It's your day. 185 00:08:05,722 --> 00:08:08,489 And if you can find a picture of yourself to put in it, 186 00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:10,524 That'd be good, too. 187 00:08:10,559 --> 00:08:14,094 And this is what Mike was doing on Father's Day... 188 00:08:14,129 --> 00:08:15,462 (clicks remote) 189 00:08:15,497 --> 00:08:18,898 ♪ 190 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,501 (telephone rings) 191 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,769 Could somebody get that? 192 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,237 (ring) 193 00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:28,472 Hello? Anybody? Somebody I was just talking to, maybe? 194 00:08:28,506 --> 00:08:30,306 (ring) 195 00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:31,574 (sighs) 196 00:08:31,608 --> 00:08:33,008 (ring) 197 00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:34,509 (beep) 198 00:08:34,543 --> 00:08:35,943 (sighs) hello? 199 00:08:35,977 --> 00:08:37,444 God. 200 00:08:37,478 --> 00:08:39,379 Hi, mom. 201 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:41,481 Okay, change of plans. 202 00:08:41,515 --> 00:08:42,882 I'm going to grandma's. 203 00:08:42,916 --> 00:08:45,051 What? Why? She always comes here. Yeah, well, 204 00:08:45,085 --> 00:08:47,853 Dad had to go to the shop 'cause of some possum problem, 205 00:08:47,888 --> 00:08:50,022 And since her sciatica's been acting up, 206 00:08:50,057 --> 00:08:52,892 Mom can't feel her feet, so she can't drive down herself. 207 00:08:52,926 --> 00:08:55,728 So... I don't want her to be alone on Mother's Day. 208 00:08:55,762 --> 00:08:58,696 I'm gonna have to just drive up and surprise her. 209 00:08:58,731 --> 00:09:00,631 Oh, my God. This conversation is so boring, 210 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,399 Yet just loud enough that I can't sleep through it. All right. 211 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:06,334 I'll try to switch our lunch reservations to dinner. (clicks remote) 212 00:09:06,369 --> 00:09:09,238 Oh, good. That way I still get my peach pie. 213 00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:12,873 "the octomom is looking forward to a nice brunch at home." oh. 214 00:09:12,907 --> 00:09:15,707 Mom, can I come with you to grandma's? 215 00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:17,642 Oh, thank you, Sue. That'll be fun. 216 00:09:17,677 --> 00:09:19,511 A mother-daughter trip on Mother's Day. 217 00:09:19,545 --> 00:09:21,846 The whole way we'll listen to music and gab. 218 00:09:21,847 --> 00:09:23,714 (inhales deeply) 219 00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:25,649 (sighs) 220 00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:27,950 So you wanna listen to some music? 221 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,851 No. 222 00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:31,220 You wanna talk? 223 00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:32,655 No. 224 00:09:32,689 --> 00:09:34,124 Sue, no offense, 225 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,493 But if I wanted to ride in silence, 226 00:09:36,527 --> 00:09:38,394 I would've brought your dad. 227 00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:40,262 What's going on with you? 228 00:09:42,198 --> 00:09:44,999 Honey, what's the matter? 229 00:09:45,033 --> 00:09:46,600 Never mind. 230 00:09:46,635 --> 00:09:49,503 (sighs) Sue, something is obviously wrong. 231 00:09:49,538 --> 00:09:50,972 Now tell me. 232 00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:53,309 It'll ruin your Mother's Day! 233 00:09:53,344 --> 00:09:55,712 Nothing you can say would do that. 234 00:09:55,747 --> 00:09:57,680 I already got a foot bath. 235 00:09:57,715 --> 00:09:59,849 Ship's pretty much sailed on that one. 236 00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:01,784 I broke a commandment. 237 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,519 Oh! Okay... 238 00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:05,987 Which one? 239 00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,855 I stole something. 240 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:10,424 I stole an inspirational fridge magnet. 241 00:10:10,459 --> 00:10:12,426 A what? 242 00:10:12,460 --> 00:10:15,228 A magnet, for the fridge, to hold papers and stuff. 243 00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:17,997 I just loved it so much, and dad wouldn't buy it for me, 244 00:10:18,031 --> 00:10:19,899 And now I just feel terrible, 245 00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:22,701 And I never thought I would be the kind of person 246 00:10:22,736 --> 00:10:25,070 To steal anything, but the magnet said, 247 00:10:25,104 --> 00:10:27,973 "think of the thing you cannot do, and then do it." 248 00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:30,975 So I thought about it, and then I did it! 249 00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:33,477 Oh, my God. I'm a stealer. I stole! (sniffles) 250 00:10:33,511 --> 00:10:35,479 (retching) 251 00:10:35,513 --> 00:10:38,481 Sue! Honey... 252 00:10:38,515 --> 00:10:41,483 (crying) see? 253 00:10:41,518 --> 00:10:44,486 See, it's got a dolphin... And a kite. 254 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,488 (retches) 255 00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,122 Oh! 256 00:10:48,157 --> 00:10:49,623 (continues retching) 257 00:10:49,658 --> 00:10:51,458 (exhales deeply) it'll be okay, honey. 258 00:10:51,493 --> 00:10:53,793 Clearly, you know what you did was wrong. 259 00:10:53,828 --> 00:10:56,128 We'll take it back to the store tomorrow 260 00:10:56,163 --> 00:10:58,597 And explain what happened, and you can apologize. 261 00:10:58,631 --> 00:11:01,132 And about this time on Father's Day... 262 00:11:03,969 --> 00:11:06,938 (retches) you know what? I'm not even gonna go there. 263 00:11:06,972 --> 00:11:09,440 It's just gonna make me mad. (sighs) 264 00:11:10,606 --> 00:11:12,741 After stopping at a do-it-yourself car wash 265 00:11:12,775 --> 00:11:15,143 And hosing down the car... And Sue, 266 00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:17,912 We finally made it to grandma's house. (Barry Manilow) ♪ a true blue spectacle ♪ 267 00:11:17,947 --> 00:11:21,014 ♪ a miracle come true ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 268 00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,916 ♪ we're together, baby ♪ 269 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,085 (knocks on door) 270 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,354 Oh, my gosh! 271 00:11:27,388 --> 00:11:29,256 Hey, mom. 272 00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:30,724 (turns stereo off) 273 00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:33,326 (laughs) what are you girls doing here? (door closes) 274 00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:36,526 (laughs) we just thought we'd come up and surprise ya. 275 00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:39,428 Looks like we did. (laughs) oh, you know, just frosting my hair, 276 00:11:39,462 --> 00:11:42,297 Frying a steak and having a little glass of white zin. 277 00:11:42,331 --> 00:11:44,632 Okay, o asses. You got me. (laughs) 278 00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:47,000 (chuckle (laughs) oh, you're looking good out there. 279 00:11:47,035 --> 00:11:49,302 Your leg must be feeling better. 280 00:11:49,337 --> 00:11:52,238 Well, you know how sciatica . It comes and goes. 281 00:11:52,272 --> 00:11:54,440 It helps to move around, 282 00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:56,842 And nobody gets me going like Barry. (laughs) 283 00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:59,478 Oh, look at you, chop suey! 284 00:11:59,512 --> 00:12:02,380 Oh, stop growing so fast and making me feel old. 285 00:12:02,415 --> 00:12:05,183 (giggles) Happy Mother's Day, grandma. 286 00:12:05,218 --> 00:12:06,618 Thank you, sugar. 287 00:12:06,652 --> 00:12:09,453 But you didn't have come all this way. My gosh! 288 00:12:09,487 --> 00:12:12,823 Are you kidding? We couldn't let you be alone on Mother's Day. 289 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:14,191 Oh. (gasps) (Frankie chuckles) 290 00:12:14,225 --> 00:12:15,625 Oh, you nut. 291 00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:20,063 Ohh. Why did you do this? 292 00:12:20,097 --> 00:12:22,098 Ohh. 293 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,499 Ohh! 294 00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:27,434 Oh, my. 295 00:12:27,468 --> 00:12:30,301 Look at th. 296 00:12:30,336 --> 00:12:32,770 A food dehydrator. 297 00:12:32,804 --> 00:12:35,639 Well, I know how much you love dried apricots and raisins. 298 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:38,708 So now you can buy apricots and grapes--make your own. 299 00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:40,143 Oh, boy! 300 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,611 And it's so big! 301 00:12:41,645 --> 00:12:44,451 Why don't I go and make room for this in the kitchen. 302 00:12:44,485 --> 00:12:45,952 Come on, chop suey. 303 00:12:45,986 --> 00:12:48,420 You can help yourself to the candy drawer. 304 00:12:48,454 --> 00:12:50,821 Your grandpa's blood sugar's out of whack, 305 00:12:50,822 --> 00:12:52,956 So there's still some good stuff in there. 306 00:12:52,991 --> 00:12:55,324 I don't serve treat. 307 00:12:55,325 --> 00:12:57,626 I stole an inspirational fridge magnet. 308 00:12:57,661 --> 00:12:59,895 (mouths words) 309 00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:02,764 Oh... Honey, we all do stupid things, 310 00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:05,032 But we all deserve chocolate. 311 00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:07,837 Come with grandma. Let's talk about what happened. 312 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,275 (Nhalesnd Eal deeply) 313 00:13:12,309 --> 00:13:14,210 Ohh. Yea baby. 314 00:13:14,245 --> 00:13:16,779 That's what I'm talking about. 315 00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:19,647 So while a real mom with more experience than 316 00:13:19,682 --> 00:13:22,049 Was fixing Sue, I could finally catch a break. 317 00:13:22,117 --> 00:13:24,418 What is it about being at your mom's house 318 00:13:24,452 --> 00:13:26,787 that lets you completely relax? 319 00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,957 Mm. 320 00:13:29,992 --> 00:13:32,227 (inhales deeply) mm. 321 00:13:34,463 --> 00:13:35,896 (sighs) 322 00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:37,297 (clicks remote) (TV playing indistinctly) 323 00:13:37,331 --> 00:13:38,764 Hey, mom. I'm thirsty. 324 00:13:38,799 --> 00:13:41,432 Can you bring me a pop or something? 325 00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:42,833 (man) ...Bunny! (woman giggles) 326 00:13:42,868 --> 00:13:44,301 Oh, buy. 327 00:13:44,335 --> 00:13:46,302 Mmm. Thank you. 328 00:13:46,337 --> 00:13:48,571 Oh. Your hair looks nice. 329 00:13:48,605 --> 00:13:50,973 Oh, yeah? Sue helped me finish it off. 330 00:13:51,008 --> 00:13:52,741 I-it's not too frosted? 331 00:13:52,776 --> 00:13:55,575 No, no. In a couple weeks, it'll be perfect. 332 00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:57,010 (can fizzes) 333 00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:59,979 (yawns) Oh, how long was I asleep? 334 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,850 I'm starving. Hey, you know what would be great? 335 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,452 One of your grilled cheese sandwiches 336 00:14:05,487 --> 00:14:07,554 With the potato chips in the middle. (sniffles) 337 00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:09,656 I love the way you make 'em. 338 00:14:09,691 --> 00:14:12,291 O-okay, could you not lean on my "people"? 339 00:14:12,325 --> 00:14:14,226 You're making it all crinkly. 340 00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:17,528 Sorry. (sniffles) Ahh. 341 00:14:17,562 --> 00:14:20,063 (sniffles) and, mom, in triangles, okay? 342 00:14:20,098 --> 00:14:21,798 I know. Triangles. 343 00:14:21,832 --> 00:14:24,200 ♪ 344 00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:26,568 How do you guys survive with just basic cable? 345 00:14:26,603 --> 00:14:28,003 (turns TV off) 346 00:14:28,037 --> 00:14:30,939 Mmm! Thanks, mom. 347 00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:33,875 Ooh. This looks good. 348 00:14:33,909 --> 00:14:35,709 (whiny voice) aw. 349 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,210 No chips? 350 00:14:37,245 --> 00:14:39,646 (smacking) 351 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,515 (normal voice) hey, how long do you think it would take 352 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,450 To make some pudding, Hmm? 353 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,651 (slurps) Mmm. 354 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,119 HUD) 355 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,254 Are you mad? 356 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,157 No. Anything else I can get you on Mother's Day? 357 00:14:53,191 --> 00:14:55,092 See, now you sound mad. 358 00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:58,728 I mean, I just came all the way up here 359 00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:01,565 So you wouldn't be alone on Mother's Day. Well, I'm sorry, 360 00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:04,501 But did you ever think maybe I wanted to be alone? 361 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:07,969 You didn't want to be with your daughter on Mother's Day? Oh, I didn't say that. 362 00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:10,402 Yeah, you did, mom. You said exactly that. You said, 363 00:15:10,436 --> 00:15:13,336 "sorry, but did you ever think maybe I wanted to be alone?" 364 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,272 What are you, a court reporter? I'm sorry if I drove an hour and a half 365 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,675 To be with my mother on Mother's Day. 366 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,077 I had no idea it would be an inconvenience. 367 00:15:21,111 --> 00:15:23,511 I just thought it would make you happy. 368 00:15:23,545 --> 00:15:25,946 Frankie, I am never alone in this house. 369 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,881 Your dad is always here-- 370 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:30,316 Asking me about this, asking me about that. 371 00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:33,286 "Can I eat this?" uh, "where's my raincoat?" 372 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,256 Now he's out with his possums, 373 00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:38,193 And I just wanted a minute to frost my damn hair 374 00:15:38,227 --> 00:15:41,095 And drink my damn wine and listen to my damn music 375 00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:42,563 Without getting anyone anything. 376 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,600 With potato chips in the middle! 377 00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:49,069 Oh, my God. 378 00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:51,504 I'll bet your sciatic nerve isn't really acting up. 379 00:15:51,538 --> 00:15:54,606 I'll bet you just made that up as an excuse to not see me! 380 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,974 Oh, come on. You know how sciatica is. 381 00:15:57,009 --> 00:15:58,409 It comes and goes. 382 00:15:58,443 --> 00:16:00,510 Oh, I don't know. 383 00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:03,146 You were boogying down pretty hard there, lady flash. 384 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:06,448 It comes and goes! Forget it. Just forget it. 385 00:16:06,483 --> 00:16:08,350 I don't expect you to understand. 386 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,685 I don't understand?! 387 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,621 You think I wouldn't want to have a house all to myself? 388 00:16:13,655 --> 00:16:16,557 You think I wouldn't love to be alone on Mother's Day, 389 00:16:16,591 --> 00:16:18,959 Sucking down a glass of white zinfandel?! 390 00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:22,762 You don't want to be with your daughter on Mother's Day? Sue, I didn't say that. 391 00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:25,398 Yes, you did! You said exactly that. 392 00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:27,967 Sue, come on. Well, I'm sorry. 393 00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:30,802 If you guys wanted to be alone, why didn't you just say so? It's really hard, Sue. 394 00:16:30,836 --> 00:16:33,304 It's really hard to say you don't want to be 395 00:16:33,338 --> 00:16:34,839 With your family on Mother's Day. 396 00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:36,807 It's really hard to say 397 00:16:36,841 --> 00:16:39,342 You don't want to dry your own fruit. 398 00:16:39,377 --> 00:16:41,744 You didn't like your dehydrator? It's ridiculous! 399 00:16:41,779 --> 00:16:43,713 I'm gonna go buy $4-a-pound grapes 400 00:16:43,747 --> 00:16:46,582 And spend hours turning 'em into 99-cent raisins?! 401 00:16:46,616 --> 00:16:48,050 Use your head! 402 00:16:48,084 --> 00:16:49,985 You think that's a horrible gift? 403 00:16:50,019 --> 00:16:52,787 I got an inflatable foot bath! 404 00:16:52,821 --> 00:16:54,889 You don't like your foot bath? It's ridiculous! 405 00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:58,024 What about me says I'm the kind of person 406 00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:00,926 That wants to blow something up and stick my feet in it? 407 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:02,661 (crying) 408 00:17:02,696 --> 00:17:05,130 Ohh. 409 00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:07,598 (crying) 410 00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,733 Ohh. 411 00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:12,702 It took three hours 412 00:17:12,737 --> 00:17:15,204 And two trips to the candy drawer 413 00:17:15,239 --> 00:17:17,706 To undo everything that had been said. 414 00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:20,709 (crying) I don't want us to be fighting on Mother's Day. Mwah. 415 00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:22,711 (crying) oh, I'm sorry, mom. 416 00:17:22,745 --> 00:17:24,212 I know, honey. 417 00:17:24,246 --> 00:17:25,713 I'm sorry, Sue. 418 00:17:25,747 --> 00:17:27,214 (crying) I know, mom. 419 00:17:27,248 --> 00:17:28,382 (sobs) 420 00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:29,816 Ohh. 421 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,159 By the time we were done, 422 00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:35,061 There was no way I was making it home for Neptune's grill, 423 00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:36,996 So I told Mike and the boys 424 00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:39,064 To bring me back some peach pie. 425 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,900 And my Mother's Day dinner... I'll have a number seven 426 00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:44,136 With double-fried dark meat and monster fries, 427 00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:46,204 A number four with x-treme cheese tots 428 00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,972 And two diet root beers. 429 00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:51,375 And as for Mike's father's day dinner... Here it is. Your favorite dinner-- 430 00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:54,344 Steak and a mashed potato dad with bacon arms. 431 00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:56,413 Mmm. (Brick) ohh. (chuckles) 432 00:17:56,447 --> 00:17:58,081 Ooh. (chuckles) ohh. 433 00:17:58,115 --> 00:18:00,449 (woman) pull around. 434 00:18:02,252 --> 00:18:04,353 Hey, everybody. 435 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:07,455 We're back. 436 00:18:07,489 --> 00:18:08,956 (door closes) 437 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:11,124 Oh, come on! 438 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,360 (sighs) 439 00:18:16,394 --> 00:18:19,496 Aw, Brick. 440 00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:24,132 (thud) 441 00:18:24,167 --> 00:18:25,567 Oh, come on! 442 00:18:25,601 --> 00:18:27,868 Hey, you're back. 443 00:18:27,903 --> 00:18:29,269 How's your mom? 444 00:18:29,304 --> 00:18:32,238 Good. (sighs) how was my Mother's Day dinner? 445 00:18:32,272 --> 00:18:34,807 Not bad. The waitress thought I was a widower. 446 00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:36,978 She gave us free shrimp balls. 447 00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:39,116 So? What? 448 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,618 My pie? 449 00:18:40,652 --> 00:18:43,521 I'm going back. (sighs) 450 00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:47,090 I'm going back right now. Sweet. Get me more shrimp balls. 451 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,726 Oh, forget it. 452 00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:52,127 Some days, from start to finish, 453 00:18:52,161 --> 00:18:53,593 Just blow. 454 00:18:53,628 --> 00:18:56,429 I'm never doing that again. 455 00:18:56,464 --> 00:18:58,631 What, Mother's Day? 456 00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:01,567 Yeah, Mother's Day. It should be outlawed. 457 00:19:01,601 --> 00:19:04,569 What? You don't mean that. The kids made you breakfast. 458 00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:07,038 You went to see your mom. It was good. 459 00:19:07,072 --> 00:19:09,540 Yeah, you're confusing mother's day with Father's Day. 460 00:19:09,574 --> 00:19:12,175 Father's day is great, and you know why? 461 00:19:12,209 --> 00:19:14,477 'cause a mom is running it. 462 00:19:14,511 --> 00:19:16,512 You know what you need? (sighs) 463 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:20,649 A foot bath. I'm gonna blow you up a foot bath. 464 00:19:24,252 --> 00:19:25,719 (exhales deeply) 465 00:19:25,754 --> 00:19:28,255 I'll tell you one thing-- I'm never having kids. 466 00:19:28,289 --> 00:19:30,323 What? 467 00:19:30,357 --> 00:19:32,625 Why would you say that? 468 00:19:32,659 --> 00:19:34,059 It just seems hard. 469 00:19:34,094 --> 00:19:37,028 I couldn't handle it the way you do. 470 00:19:37,063 --> 00:19:38,463 You're good at it. 471 00:19:38,497 --> 00:19:40,765 See, now that's why you'll love having kids. 472 00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:42,199 Same reason I do-- 473 00:19:42,234 --> 00:19:45,235 'cause after a rough day, one of 'em will come in, 474 00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:48,537 Give you a hug and say something like that. 475 00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:51,239 But aren't we the cause of the rough day? 476 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,307 Well, you can't overthink it. 477 00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:55,844 We cleaned up the kitchen. 478 00:19:55,878 --> 00:19:58,045 Ohh. See? 479 00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,580 That was exhausting. 480 00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:02,148 I'm beat. (groans) 481 00:20:02,183 --> 00:20:04,684 Oh. Come on. 482 00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:08,788 Aah. 483 00:20:08,822 --> 00:20:10,323 I'll get it. 484 00:20:10,357 --> 00:20:13,325 I just gotta poke a tweezer in the valve to open it up. 485 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:14,826 (cabinet door opens) 486 00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,527 (Mike) where are the tweezers? 487 00:20:16,562 --> 00:20:17,995 Move stuff around. 488 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:19,930 Mike's right. Mother's Day is sort of a made-up holiday. 489 00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:22,733 It doesn't always live up to the hype. 490 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:25,669 And that's what led me to create a new holiday, 491 00:20:25,703 --> 00:20:28,705 One that's turned out to be one of my favorites. 492 00:20:28,739 --> 00:20:31,574 I call it "the day after Mother's Day." 493 00:20:32,308 --> 00:20:34,275 Can I get you anything else? 494 00:20:34,309 --> 00:20:35,810 No. M so good. 495 00:20:35,844 --> 00:20:37,711 Mother's Day is for them. 496 00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:40,714 The day after Mother's Day is for me. 497 00:20:40,748 --> 00:20:44,514 It's kinda like Father's Day for mothers. 498 00:20:44,515 --> 00:20:46,391 Sync by kuniva for addic7ed.com 499 00:20:46,441 --> 00:20:50,991 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0